


Surviving

by PatienceBrody



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pre-Relationship, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9177277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatienceBrody/pseuds/PatienceBrody
Summary: Farkas watched as she sat cross-legged in his bed. Her hair had fallen, covering her face. Even he knew that she was stifling her tears. He didn’t say a word. It was his fault, whatever had happened. He sent her there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I downloaded a mod off loverslab (yes I know don’t judge me) and I actually really loved it. I ended up disabling it because I recently got a new laptop and had to start over on my game because I somehow corrupted my files and it doesn’t work very well for a low-level character. But that’s not the point of any of this.  
> The Mod is called SexLabDefeat and basically, I got to play through the initial scene. And I couldn’t help but write the aftermath of that scene. So… yeah. Enjoy? Or not. It’s up to you.

Her bones were frozen, yet her skin felt like it was melting from them. She pulled the cloak tighter around her shoulders, craving any remnant of protection it could afford.

Farkas watched as she sat cross-legged in his bed. Her hair had fallen, covering her face. Even he knew that she was stifling her tears. He didn’t say a word. It was his fault, whatever had happened. He sent her there.

Her sniffling unnerved him. She was such a strong girl. She had marched into Jorrvaskr just a few days before and strode straight through Njada’s and Athis’s little fight, down the stairs, and confronted Kodlak and Vilkas in the Harbinger’s study. She had matched Vilkas easily in her test and never complained about helping the others. She even took on the job at Serpent’s Bluff Redoubt with only a question of what to expect. But watching her now he could see exactly how young and feminine she really was.

She watched Farkas through her hair. A member of the Circle, he was kind to her. He had offered her this job, her first job. He was easy to read and she knew he was blaming himself. When she returned to Jorrvaskr, bloodied and beaten, he had gathered her into his arms. It was in that moment she had finally felt safe again.

The bed shifted as he settled on the edge. She tried not to, but her body wouldn’t listen as she shifted away from his large body. He didn’t look at her, instead staring straight ahead.

“Alija.”

She swallowed before whispering “I… I was too careless.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have sent you on such a dangerous mission.”

She touched his cheek. He met her tear stained eyes. “It’s not your fault, Farkas.” His lips tightened. He caught her hand as it fell.

“Tell me.”

She turned away. His thumb massaged the back of her hand. She knew it was subconscious and yet that made it even more calming.

Farkas watched her silently. She swallowed hard and he didn’t think she would speak, but after a few moments she did.

“I was almost done. I had taken everyone out with ease. And…” she drew a shuttering breath “and I guess I got comfortable.” She drew her knees to her chest. She wiped the back of her free hand against her nose. “There was the hagraven. And I should have known that something was wrong because she didn’t attack or anything. She just stood there staring at me.”

She didn’t realize that she was shaking until Farkas wrapped his arm around her, tucking her under his arm as if to keep her warm. Or safe. She closed her eyes and let it be. Soon enough he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her. They wouldn’t accept a Companion that let that happen to them.

“There were two Forsworn left. A man and a woman.” The scene was vivid behind her lids, but she was scared to see the look on his face. So she kept her eyes tightly shut. “They forced me to my knees and I dropped my sword.” Her eyes flew open. She had to make him understand. “I tried to fight them. I did. But I was too weak. I couldn’t.” She dropped her gaze. “I just couldn’t.”

Shame spread across her face tinging her cheeks red. Tears glistened, unshed, in her blue eyes. She turned away from his embrace, but couldn’t force herself to leave it.

Farkas stared in confusion. Everyone had been bested before. There was no reason for this amount of shame. All she needed was more training. After all she had completed the job before returning home.

Alija knew that he didn’t understand. And she didn’t want to ruin his innocence. But Vilkas stood in the doorway and he did understand.

“So they took you.” Vilkas’s voice was so matter-of-fact and she could feel the understanding dawn on Farkas as he spoke. “They took you and they had their way.”

“Vilkas!” Farkas tightened his grip on the girl. They had done that? His guilt grew. Her breath hitched, a half-suppressed sob escaping.

Vilkas ignored his brother’s growl, crouching down in front of Alija. “What did you do about it?” She stared at him, uncomprehending. “What did you do?” He repeated louder.

“I killed them.”

He stood. “That is all that matters.” He walked out of the room. A moment later they heard flesh striking flesh and Aela growling low as she berated Vilkas for being so harsh. Alija smiled. She was safe here. They were like family.

Farkas gazed down at her. “I’m sorry.”

His words were soft and Alija wasn’t sure she heard them right. “Why?”

"For sending you there.” Pain and regret darkened his features.

Alija looked at their conjoined hands. She wasn’t sure when he had twisted his fingers through hers, but it comforted her. She met his eyes with the slightest smile. “I survived.” He nodded.

**************************************

Later that night, as Alija lay sleeping in his bed, Farkas watched her. He understood. She would be fine. It would take a while. He knew that too. But as she whimpered in her sleep, he promised himself that he would never leave her in such a position again.

**Author's Note:**

> I have fortunately never been the victim of rape. And I cannot imagine what one might feel or think after such an attack. I hope that this might in some way capture them, but I am sure I have missed it by many miles. If you have suffered such an atrocity know that it was/is never your fault. You survived. You are strong and I hope you have someone to watch over you as my Alija has Farkas to watch over her.
> 
> (oh yeah I should mention this takes place before dovahkiin finds out they are dovahkiin)


End file.
